Here it is folks the post you’ve always been waiting for (whether you realized it or not) – The official top 10 reasons to drink Tea:
10: ‘Thermal discomfort‘
Whether you’re cold and need heating, or hot and need cooling – Tea will come to your aid. Huzzah for Tea! The universal temperature restorer.
9: ‘Gank Mouth‘
The term may not be familiar, but the sensation certainly will be: The unpleasant cloyed feeling when you’ve had too much scone or biscuit or cake. Ladies and gentlement allow me to introduce Gank Mouth…
Anyhow – fear not! Tea will wash away this unpleasant affliction and leave your mouth feeling fresh and ready for more. It’s no accident that scones and Tea go so well together.
8: ‘New Tea Samplage‘
There are so many fine Teas on the planet that it’d be a crime (and should be) not to go to insane lengths to expand your Tea palate. It follows that trying new Teas is a very good reason to drink Tea.
7: ‘Free Tea‘
Well now! As a penniless student this is a particular favourite of mine.
There are two threads (prongs if you will) to this reason: Firstly – it’d be very rude to refuse now wouldn’t it? Latterly – it’d be a foolish insult to both your palate and to Tea (’You don’t want me? Why? Why?!?’).
6: ‘Social Tea‘
Tea is a social creature and gets better with quantity. Tea for one never compares to a pot with friends. On a similar note meeting friends becomes better with the addition of a pot of Tea. It’s win-win! =)
5: ‘You’re a builder‘
Obviously this one has niche appeal, but has in it’s favour a law of nature: Builders drink tea – all the time.
Tea for builders is sort of like tipping a waiter; it’s kinda expected, but generally also reflects how happy you are with their work. I should also point out that builders here is a loose term and also applies to decorators, joiners, electricians and plumbers. Tea for builders is usually extra milky and extra sugary, but it’s best to check.
4: ‘ You have a trainee at work‘
Making everyone Tea is the trainee’s honorable responsibility and yours is to drink it. It is a fundamental and essential part of induction into a new place of work as it informs them of everybody’s Tea habits, and consequently allows them an invaluable window into the souls of their colleagues.
You have a duty to drink the Tea they bring you and comment on it’s quality – this is part of the training process. In the absense of a trainee, however, a newly hired bod will suffice. Or the one who embarassed themselves at the staff party last week.
3: ‘Tea Passion‘
Oh, my days… This one is hard to describe, but there again, I shouldn’t need to explain this to you dear reader! With ‘Tea Passion’ I refer simply to that inexplicable urge to have a cup of Tea; that gutteral need for hot and steamy C. sinensis. These desires cannot be ignored!
Furthermore these cravings are often highly rewarding to indulge. The spontaneous impulse to drink Tea often leads to the most enjoyed cup of the day. Odd that.
2: ‘Prospective mate evaluation‘
When selecting a mate it is important to take a step back and evaluate them coldly and with careful calculation. Who’d want to be stuck with a dud? An easy (and compelling) way to do this is to sit down and request a cup of Tea.
You will now be in the perfect position to evaluate them in the manner described above, but also to carefully take note of their Tea making ability. Their level of skill in Tea making is likely to be highly indicative of their skill in the bedroom – remember that. One further reason to include Tea in your mating ritual is that it reveals the size of their Tea collection and their preference within it – very useful.
1: ‘Someone put the kettle on‘
Our number one reason for drinking Tea, ladies and gentlemen, is very simple – Drink Tea because it’s available. This reached the top spot to illustrate that, when we get down to it, we really don’t need a reason to drink Tea at all.
For example: I’m sat here at the computer with the dog head dribbling peacefully on my lap (the rest of the dog is on the floor beside me) typing an article about the top 10 reasons to drink Tea, but the cup I have in front of me was brought to me by my brother for no apparent reason at all except that he was making one himself.
Tea may be drunk for any number of reasons, but ofttimes it just arrives in front of you. Huzzah for magical Tea appearances.
So there we are. The official top 10 reasons to drink Tea! Hope you enjoyed it and maybe learned a little.
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